Living to the End of Your Life

Spending time with the families of my hospice patients is one of the best parts of my job as a Chaplain. It takes a great deal of vulnerability and openness to invite a hospice team into their lives, often their home, to enlist our help in caring for their loved one. When I first sit down with a family, I typically ask questions about their journey in order to better understand their spiritual and emotional needs. Most commonly, I have heard the words “we didn’t know who to trust in the system” or “we weren’t sure how to navigate decision-making for our loved one” and “we didn’t understand the care options”. These words have stuck in my mind.

In a society where people are living longer and families are more transient, the stress surrounding our aging population has increased. Changing health needs, competing care providers, diverse living situations and rising costs make senior care planning and decision making an overwhelming process. With a father who is turning 70 and has at times experienced some serious health issues, and also lives several states away, I can understand the challenges of the system. I often wonder, as my dad’s needs change in the years to come, who will we enlist to help us make decisions about his care when four of us five kids live out of state?

A couple years ago, the director of a hospice company I was working for asked me to meet with a potential patient and family to explain hospice care and help them make some decisions. It was the first of many meetings I would lead with families over the years, not a typical responsibility of a chaplain but a natural role for me due to my ability to listen attentively and offer direct yet compassionate and wise advice. I found the opportunity refreshing because now, instead of just supporting a family at the end, when they are often weary and sometimes in a crisis, I could help them make a plan that would save time, money and heartache, and most importantly get their loved one the quality care they deserve much earlier in the process. So began this idea of becoming an Independent Senior Care Consultant.

I truly believe our elderly deserve as much attention, care and respect as they were given at the beginning of their lives. Just like the parents of a newborn seek wisdom and guidance from others as they learn to nurture and care for their baby, a family needs help in discovering the best care option and plan for their elderly loved one. I will agree that it is difficult to know who to trust when it comes to senior care planning. During years of work as a hospice chaplain, I have observed a system that is sometimes focused on money-making plans and incentives which ultimately fail to honor the voice or meet the actual needs of the individual and family. At this point, as I stated earlier, I don’t know who I could trust to give me unbiased advice regarding my own father and his needs.

I want to see a change in our system. That is why I am committed to this work as an Independent Senior Care Consultant. I want to be the person families can trust. I want families to know that I will listen attentively to their concerns and needs, and do my absolute best to assist them in creating and navigating a care plan that honors the wishes of their aging loved one, and helps him or her live with dignity and respect to the end of life.